and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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