Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
that may or may not have been my penis.
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