We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
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