If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
This toilet bowl is my home.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
