He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
