Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
