Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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