Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
