R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
