I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I can feel your judgement through the phone
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