I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
