I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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