JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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