Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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