i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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