So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
