My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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