If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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