did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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