JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
