I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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