38 yer olds are good kisserssss
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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