I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
