you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
