ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
