I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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