friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
two words: eviction party
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
