is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
How external is "for external use only"?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
