you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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