your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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