I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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