she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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