I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
