and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
