Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
