Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
