Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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