I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
