So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
