what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
