HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
