you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
