wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
