I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
