You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
