I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
