Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
