Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
