i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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