just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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