Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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