I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
