he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
