I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
